Author: Betsy Haynes (Toilet Time was written by Elizabeth Winfrey)
Publisher: HarperPaperbacks
RL: 4
1. Beware of the Shopping Mall
- Robin and her friends go to the new Wonderland Mall built over Mournful
Swamp, disturbing the ghosts of children who died there. These ghosts turn
the shopping children into mannequins, stealing their lives. After closing-hours,
Robin tricks them and races out of the mall. When the ghosts pursue her,
they return to bones and rotting corpses. Reduced to ashes, the spell is
broken and the mannequins are restored to their human forms.
2. Little Pet Shop of Horrors
- Cassie desperately wants a puppy, even though her father says no. She
goes to Custom Pets run by Mr. Willard and ends up in a cage, transformed
into a dog. A boy from school, David, buys her for his pet. Her attempts
at communication are misconstrued as disobedience and she is returned to
the shop. He tells her that there is only one thing left to do, "Since
nobody wants you ... I'm going to have to put you to sleep" (p. 102).
When he tries to inject the poison, she bites him and runs around the room.
A bottle of a strange liquid is broken from a fallen table and she takes
a drink. The chemical returns her to her human form. Realizing that no
one would believe her story, she confesses amnesia. At the story's end,
her mother surprises her with a Pekingese-- a cute dog which reminds her
of her friend, Suki.
3. Back to School - Fitz and
his friends love the food prepared by the new school cook, Miss Larva.
Unfortunately, the food is filled with mind-controlling larvae who grow
inside the children. Tiny lumps appear on them. Like cocoons, the children
would ultimately be only discarded shells. Confronting her, they realize
that mustard (forbidden in her preparations) must be poison to the growing
insects and squeeze it into their mouths. They begin to retch the "slimy,
foul-smelling larvae" onto the floor. Revealing herself as an insect,
they have to kill her with the mustard to save themselves.
4. Frankenturkey - Kyle and
his sister, Annie, become emotionally attached to their Thanksgiving turkey,
Gobble-de-gook. Purchasing a dead turkey at the supermarket, they stick
feathers into it and a Halloween mask for the face. Lightening strikes
it and the bogus turkey comes to life. They substitute it for their pet.
After a short time, the turkey grows much bigger and uglier. Frankenturkey
also proves to be evil. Along with the bully and new friend, Jake, they
are attacked by the bird. Fortunately, another bolt of lightening strikes
the turkey, transforming him into a golden-brown meal, cooked to perfection.
They all eat it for their holiday supper.
5. Strange Brew - Tori finds
a notebook with her name on it. A recipe for a storm entices her to try
it out. A horrendous, though short-lived storm occurs, ruining her brother's
only grand-slam home run, by raining out the baseball game. Next she finds
a spell to make everyone throw up in the school cafeteria. Another spell
has her flying through the night sky behind twenty lightening bugs. They
lead her to a place where she meets her imaginary friend, Celeste, in the
flesh. Celeste is jealous of Tori's friend, Heather. Indeed, she has something
to do with Heather falling and breaking her arm. A concoction smeared in
an "X" shape upon the desks fills the classroom with bubbles
and then with waist-high soap-suds. When the principal calls her into his
office about the incident, he has a sneezing attack and is taken away in
an ambulance. When Tori confronts Celeste, the magical friend says, "So
what if he did die? You hate school anyway" (p. 84). Celeste and Tori
trash the office late at night. Another recipe dictated by Celeste is poured
upon the papers and a fire starts that burns the school to the ground.
Celeste grows so powerful that she attacks the girls with dolls in their
image, shoe laces changed into snakes, and an animated stuffed black cat
with razor-sharp claws. Since Tori created her, she decides that she can
also will her out of existence. Her real friendship with Heather is stronger
than Celeste's hold upon her.
6. Teacher Creature - Joey dares
Nate to wait through a hurricane with him in the school. Having followed
them, Molly joins them in their classroom. During the storm they notice
something big and black emerging from the swamp. When they hear the thing
breaking into the building they take off for home and escape during the
calm of the storm into Joey's house. No one believed their monster story.
Returning to school, their sixth grade teacher had been replaced by a strange-looking
Mr. Betrachian who can swat and eat flies with his long tongue. Taking
a fieldtrip into the Everglades, Joey spies their teacher "gnawing
on something ... like a small raccoon" (p. 81). Later, did he eat
an alligator? Joey finds a book on Mr. Batrachian's desk that is a cookbook
entitled Preparing Children. The children are unknowingly looking
for items that go in the recipe. Looking up the teacher's name, he finds
it means frogs and toads. Mr. Batrachian is a mutant toad! Confronted,
he admits to having eatrn Mr. Vernon, their previous teacher. He threatens
to slice and dice them. Mutant walking mangrove trees encircle the monster
and destroy him.
7. Frankenturkey II - This sequel
to book 4 in the series comes after the death of Gobble-de-gook, the pet
turkey. Annie misses the bird and wishes him back to life while breaking
Frankenturkey's wishbone with her brother, Kyle. She gets her wish. Unfortunately,
the turkey is at first only an animated and decaying corpse. The wishbone
reassembles and the mesmerized Annie pushes it into the healing bird. Gobble-de-gook's
body becomes possessed by Frankenturkey. Annie's wishes come true, even
those she does not really mean, like having her brother for Thanksgiving
dinner instead of the turkey. Her whole family begins fattening the compliant
Kyle for his slaughter. Kyle even shouts to his friend Jake, "Come
on, Jake, chop my head off" (p. 106). Calling upon Gobble-de-gook
to fight Frankenturkey's spirit, the wishbone breaks in the struggle. Annie
says, "I brought you back to life. And now you've given your own new
life to save all of us from Frankenturkey!" (p. 115).
8. Welcome to Alien Inn - Matt
and his family are stranded during a blizzard at Snowed Inn. Mr. Rogers
who runs the place looks like he came straight out of the PBS neighborhood.
The kids they meet have the same names as the family on The Simpsons.
The people there speak in cleches, the food is mixed up, and they are bombarded
by questions about everyday things. Matt discovers that the blizzard exists
only in a bubble around the inn. The building is actually an alien craft
manned by Plyomith Warriors preparing for an invasion. They drain the minds
from their guests and slowly take on their appearance. Matt challenges
one of the aliens to a duel and uses the opportunity to shoot the Bemowac
computer. The minds of his family are returned and they race from the spaceship
just as it evaporates. Only Matt remembers what happened.
9. Attack of the Killer Ants
- Ryan and Alex are kidnaped by giant ants and taken deep under the earth.
Assisted by Raymond, Ryan's little brother, they use ant spray to assist
in their escape, giving the bulbous queen three squirts as they make a
run for it. It is interesting that while the boys kill countless ants,
the monstrous insects never kill anyone. Who were the real monsters in
this story?
10. Slime Time - Jeremy takes
three different pills for his cold and ends up sneezing out a mutant snot
that almost devours the town of Snodgrass. The slime grows to huge proportions,
invading the school cafeteria, the city dump, a local golf course, and
much of the wooded areas. It eats everything in its path, even small animals.
Using helicopters, the monster is destroyed by dropping salt upon it, drying
it up.
11. Toilet Time - Ellie discovers
to her dismay that her disposed chemicals have turned her brother Han's
flushed dead fish into a monster. The deformed Spike is able to travel
through the plumbing and to reshape himself in their house and pool. The
tentacled and large-toothed creature taunts and endangers them, even trying
to drown Ellie in the pool. The kids decide to fight back, going so far
as to pursue it into the sewer. Finally, using hair blowers, they are able
to dry him to death; after all, he was a fish out of water.
Elements of Concern:
>LEVITATION - Tori flies through the
night sky.
>MONSTERS - Ghosts, moving mannequins, insect cook, Frankenstein-like turkey, imaginary friend made real, mutant toad, aliens, giant ants, mutant snot-- slime, & mutant fish.
>POSSESSION - Ghosts take over the children at a mall, larvae manipulate their hosts, a reanimated turkey controls the minds of a family, an imaginary friend directs a young girl & aliens drain the minds of victims.
>RESURRECTION - The Ghosts drain the life out of children and return to the flesh, a turkey corpse is reanimated & a dead fish comes back to life as a monster.
>SORCERY - Magical spells and potions are detailed for causing a storm, throwing up, bubbles in the classroom & burning down the school.
>TRANSMUTATION - Children are changed into mannequins,
pets, insect hatcheries; a toad becomes a mutant teacher, aliens take on
human form, ants become giants, snot grows into a devouring slime &
a corpse (turkey or fish) returns to life as a monster.
Special Remarks:
All the books presume either the supernatural or some sort of super-science. Written for fourth graders, parents might be concerned with the threat of death which is present in each one of the stories. For the most part, occult symbolism and lore is minimal, if present at all. The only story that seems to violate this is Strange Brew. Indeed, this is the most troubling of the books in the series. The principal is made to sneeze so violently that he is taken away in an ambulance. We are reminded that each time a person sneezes, the heart stops. Not only does the imaginary friend, Celeste, appear unconcerned with this prospect, Tori's worry seems fleeting. Despite her best friend getting her arm broken by Celeste, Tori continues to be influenced by her. This tragedy culminates in a late night break-in of the school. Tori trashes the office and a recipe (potion) is used to burn the school to the ground. Despite Tori ultimately willing Celeste to vanish, there is no resolution of Tori's culpability in the felony. While a giant snot ball eating small animals and threatening the town is much like the fantasy of a comic book, burning down one's school comes awfully close to the reality of juvenile arson in the news these days.
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Last Updated January 19, 1998 by Fr.
Joseph Jenkins